I've got a great idea for a reality-based movie. By "reality-based," I mean we'll steal wholesale from the conceits of pre-existing films like Network and 48 HRS. (No need for market testing; Network was a Best Picture nominee and 48 HRS. was a box-office smash -- can't miss!) I'm thinking Rene Russo can do Faye Dunaway's grasping TV exec from Network. And we need someone to riff on the Eddie Murphy half of the 48 HRS. cop duo. How about . . . Eddie Murphy? And let's see whether De Niro's available. Yeah, he's the Greatest Actor of his Generation, but what's he done lately? (Are cameos from Bill Shatner and Johnnie Cochran doable?) Throw in a ton of wholly unnecessary cataclysmically deafening violence and greenlight it!

That's pretty much what Tom Dey's glib, ostensibly self-conscious "satire" of reality TV, cop flicks, and buddy pictures amounts to. Worse, we're supposed to excuse the fact that its plot and characters are formulaic rehashes of every cliché in filmdom because we're aware that they are. That's the point! Get it? Whatever chemistry exists between De Niro and Murphy is forced and transparently manipulated, but they manage to rise above the sham with passable performances (that still often seem like impersonations of themselves). If there actually were a reality show like this, no one would believe it. At the Apple Valley, Campus, Entertainment, Flagship, Hoyts Providence 16, Opera House, Patime, Showcase, and Tri-Boro cinemas.