New nation on the block

The Biggest Little had some very big guests from a very new little country this past week, courtesy of the World Affairs Council of Rhode Island. A group of key human rights activists and successful independence fighters from the former East Timor, including the sister of resistance leader Xanana Gusmao -- the president-in-waiting, and the top aide to Nobel laureate Monsignor Philippe Ximense Belo, visited the offices of US Senators Jack Reed and Lincoln Chafee, as well as such local sites as Amos House.

Phillipe and Jorge were fortunate to be able to speak to the future leaders of Timor Lorosae, as the new country will be called, and came away awed and inspired. Emerging from a bitter 24-year struggle to gain autonomy, these East Timorese leaders are displaying uncommon intelligence, concern and pragmatism. To see this, coming as it does after a violent resolution to a struggle for freedom, is as inspirational as it is emotionally moving. In forsaking retribution, the East Timorese have shaken off incredible social upheaval to seek a more peaceful future. This reveals strength beyond what most everyday folks in the US, thankfully, ever need to call upon. A new nation is going to be born, and we like the looks of the parents.

Massa Bush strikes again

It looks like Alan Keyes had it right when he referred to George Dubya as "Massa Bush" in a largely-unreported exchange during the first Republican presidential candidates' debate.

In Providence and other places, police officials are dealing with all sorts of racial tensions, and calls for different kinds of police training are mounting. But the GOP's cross-eyed little silver-spooner has taken quite a shine to Charles Williams, the police chief of Marshall, Texas. Dubya, Bob Jones University's favorite son, appointed Williams to the Texas Commission on Law Enforcement Standards and Education in 1997, and then tabbed him in November as the group's chairman.

Quite an achievement for a man like Williams, especially considering that he recently defended his use in a 1998 deposition of the word "nigger" and the phrase "porch monkeys." The deposition was related to a discrimination suit brought by one of his officers -- we'll let you guess the race of the cop who filed it.

In early April, according to the Associated Press, Williams again stood by his statements. "You just have to show me where it's a racial slur," Williams said. "It just depends on how it's used and who it's used toward."

Just hazarding a guess here, Charlie, but it probably wasn't used toward any of Dubya's Yale frat brothers in Skull & Bones. That applause you hear is from Pat Robertson, Ralph "Rat Boy" Reed and Jerry Falwell, for another great performance by their best pupil. Oh yes, even Williams had more class and cojones than Poppy's boy -- he resigned, although Dubya didn't intend to fire him.

Sleep tight, Mark Fuhrman.

Carpe diem

New York magazine recently held a contest in which readers were asked to take a well-known expression in a foreign language, change one letter and provide a definition for the new expression. We list here some of the winners, and only hope that Vo Dilun politicians don't mistake them for the real thing:

RESPONDEZ S'IL VOUS PLAID: Honk if you're Scottish.
HARLEZ-VOUS FRANCAIS?: Can you drive a French motorcycle?
POST FUCTO: Lost in the mail.
IDIOS AMIGOS: We're wild and crazy guys!
VENI, VIPI, VICI: I came, I'm a very important person, I conquered.
COGITO EGGO SUM: I think; therefore I am a waffle.
RIGOR MORRIS: The cat is dead.
QUE SERA SERF: Life is feudal.
LE ROI EST MORT. JIVE LE ROI: The king is dead. No kidding.
POSH MORTEM: Death styles of the rich and famous.
PRO BOZO PUBLICO: Support your local clown (or politician)
MON AGE A TROIS: I am three years old.
FELIX NAVIDAD: Our cat has a boat.
HASTE CUISINE: Fast French food.
VENI, VIDI, VICE: I came, I saw, I partied.
QUIP PRO QUO: A fast retort.
ALOHA OY: Love; greetings; farewell; from such a pain you should never know
MAZEL TON: Tons of luck.
VISA LA FRANCE: Don't leave your chateau without it.
L'ETAT, C'EST MOO: I'm bossy around here.
CARNE DIEM: Seize the meat.

Plight of the Iraqi children goes unheard

The campaign by people concerned with US policy toward Iraq continues to operate largely beneath the radar of the mainstream media. Rod Driver, a former state representative and Congressional candidate, calls the policy of sanctions and occasional bombings "a systematic violation of the Geneva Convention." This continues while Saddam Hussein refuses to comply with UN demands to allow inspection of his weapons programs, but the policy primarily punishes the people of Iraq. Driver argues that it also does little to weaken the Iraqi dictator's stranglehold on the country.

While all four members of Vo Dilun's Congressional delegation have voted in favor of the Clinton Administration's Iraq policy, Driver and his allies identify US Representative Bob "Dorian" Weygand as the most gung-ho among the bunch. Driver says that Weygand "has dismissed the deaths of more than a million innocent Iraqis (mostly children under five) due to starvation, disease and continued US bombing."

In a letter to constituents, Weygand wrote that $12 billion in oil revenues in 1999 could have provided food for all Iraqis, although "Saddam Hussein has diverted UN funds away from food and medicine to oppress his people further."

It's alarming to find a congressman so ignorant about the human tragedy in Iraq and the workings of the UN oil-for-food program. Anyone who spends just an hour on the Web site of the UN Office of the Iraq program (www.un.org/Depts/oip/) gets a lot closer to the truth.

Congressman Weygand gives no indication of the source for his statements that Iraq had $12 billion in "oil revenues" and "diverted UN funds." Not even Clinton spokesmen say this, because they know it's impossible. The proceeds from the oil-for-food program go into a UN escrow account. "These funds cannot be diverted by the Iraqi government because it has no access to them," says Driver.

Driver, who has produced a television commercial for Project Life on this issue, says that neither Channel 12 or 10 will run the ad. Nor, he adds, does the BeloJo show any interest in the issue. Driver notes that thousands of Iraqi children are being subjected daily to starvation and disease -- and no one says a word -- while the media and American public are consumed with the plight of a lone Cuban boy.

Final word on Elian (maybe)

Did you catch the interviews on MSNBC with the family members (and the 15 minutes of fame fisherman) in the Miami house where Elian had been staying? They were so over-the-top that it made the notorious video of the boy being stage-directed seem legitimate in comparison. The Miami family and their Cuban exile allies made this whole situation not just possible, but inevitable. It's exactly the government reaction they wanted.

But P&J believe the final result will be just the opposite of what the Miami relatives desire. Although mad dog Republicans, like the despicable Tom DeLay, will try to make hay of the government "overreaction," our sense is that the vast majority Americans will see the raid as reasonable and, within six months, there will be improvement in our relations with Cuba.

We would hope that this is our final word on Elian, but who knows?

Cat fight in NYC

It just doesn't get any better than this: Donna "Pussy Galore" Hanover, actress-wife of New York mayor and US Senate aspirant Rudy "Worse Hair Than Steve Brown" Giuliani, has announced she's joining the cast of that off-Broadway hit, The Vagina Monologues, in May. Moral watchdog Rudy, who's so uptight you couldn't pull a greased pin out of his sphincter with a Checker Cab, must be having an embolism. Not only is this sort of theater a slap at his crusade against (what he deems) pornographic art, but the play is written by Eve Ensler, a personal friend and political supporter of Hillary, Giuliani's rival for the Senate.

The Vagina Monologues has been the focus of much attention recently, mostly because of its title and wittily chic lines, delivered by a string of celebrity performers, like, "I have lost my clitoris! I shouldn't have worn it swimming."

Perhaps that's what Rudy gets after he stopped wearing his wedding ring in public a few months back, a not-so-subtle hint all may not be tickety-boo at Gracie Mansion. Payback time, yer honor.

Kudos and congrats . . .

. . . to the Haffenreffer Museum in Bristol, which has on display in its Native American exhibit the legendary coffee pot of Bill Wilson, founder of Alcoholics Anonymous. As noted by P&J's alert source for this news item, Jon Campbell, the stunt car detonator and co-author of what should be Vo Dilun's state them song, "Winnebacome, Winnebago," the coffee pot is located 12 steps to right of the admissions gate to the exhibit. No report on how many crushed cigarette packs it's surrounded by.

. . . to Chris Lehane, campaign spokesman for Al Whore, who just got married to a criminal-defense lawyer. What dedication, to bring someone into the inner circle who his boss will no doubt need before long.

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