Safely behind bars

Georgie Boy Bush is offing a person a week down in Texas, with Gary Graham being the last to go, just to prove that Dubya doesn't sway in the winds of public opinion like President Billary and Al Whore. Hey, what's a minority life in the grand scheme of things? Vo Dilunduhs now face our own capital punishment test after the carjacking murders of Jason Burgeson and Amy Shute. As most are aware, if the feds can be brought in to contend that the death sentence is a valid option in this case, five young men may be looking at the Grim Reaper in the not too distant future.

P&J are no big fans of the death penalty, especially in light of recent statistics that show a rather frighteningly high rate of innocent people who have been found camping out on death row. But the carjack slayings were simply cold-blooded assassinations, and it's nearly impossible to feel remorse for the punk scum who are responsible.

Following the five suspects' decision to not request bail prior to their possible indictments, an ex-state trooper of our acquaintance recalled a case he was involved in many years ago, in which a young student had been raped and brutally assaulted. As the daughter of immigrants, she was living the dream of being the first in her family to graduate from college, before being hideously assaulted, and hoped to make a career in the field of nursing.

When her assailant was arraigned, the young woman's uncles showed up with shopping bags full of money, walked up to the judge, and indicated their willingness to pay the defendant's bail on the spot. When the judge found out who the purported benefactors were, and twigged to what the two gentlemen were obviously up to, he refused to grant bail. The judge realized, of course, that the perp would have lasted about three seconds on the street before being dispatched by the angry relatives.

Given the emotion surrounding the horrific murder of the two college students, the defendants' seemingly compliant decision not to seek bail may have been the prudent thing to do. The time sometimes comes when "an eye for an eye" doesn't seem like the worst idea in the world.

Jobs for teens

If one needs further evidence of the business community's lack of concern for those in need, look at the Campaign for Teen-age Jobs initiative being spearheaded by the George A. Wiley Center in Pawtucket. Congress failed to restore any of the $2 million that was available for the teen jobs program last year. Because of this, the folks at the Wiley Center were able to get Mayor Doyle of Pawtucket and Governor Almond to send out a total of 31,700 letters to businesses, encouraging them to provide jobs for the kids. The response has been underwhelming, to say the least.

The advocates for youth have now delivered letters to Senator Linc Chafee and Representative Patrick Kennedy, challenging them, and all who are running for Congress this year, to contribute 1 percent of their campaign contributions to a fund for teen jobs. Wonder if we'll be hear back from them soon.

Another lack of balanace

Two weeks ago, Senate Majority Leader Paul "Slappy" Kelly introduced a proposal in these, the waning days of the General Assembly session, that he readily admits is not likely to go anywhere this year. The idea is to phase out Vo Dilun's capital gains tax on some assets. The Senate Finance Committee held a hearing on the proposal on Monday, and both business leaders and grassroots community activists testified. This proposal is about as wrong-headed as any legislation we've seen in recent years and P&J will tell you why.

Certainly, nobody likes taxes, but those who would benefit from this type of bill are undoubtedly the wealthy. Let's remember that the country we like to call the U.S. of A. has been experiencing an economic boom for a number of years now. And who has been reaping almost all the rewards from this current windfall? That's right -- the wealthiest among us are making a killing, while the gap between rich and poor continues to widen.

The business leaders who are embracing Kelly's idea appear to either be ignorant of this fact or don't really give a shit. Because if we're to believe that helping the rich get richer is a way to deliver economic advancement for all, how come it hasn't happened? In fact, as previously mentioned, the opposite has happened. These days, it's not all boats that rise with the tide -- just the yachts -- while the smaller vessels are being overturned or struggling to keep from going under.

The wealthy have their methods of avoiding taxes, assisted by a federal tax code enacted by a compliant Congress, bought and paid for by special interests. Corporations are paying a much smaller percentage of what they once paid in taxes, and we're led to believe by RIPEC (an organization financed by the business community) and others that this is going to be helpful. For whom? Do we really need to be concerned about the wealthy of our state keeping pace with the upper crust of Massachusetts, when the needs and struggles of the middle class and working people go unaddressed?

William Sweeney, an economics professor at Bryant College, asserts there's no connection between capital gains taxes and job creation. So, without the usual pie-in-the-sky speculation about how this will aid average Vo Dilunduhs, could someone please tell us why this proposed legislation is necessary?

Sounds familiar

P&J's golfing buddy Mikey C. came up with a good one that left us rolling on the ground on the first tee. Complaining about a woman he went out with for a while, he recalled, "I met her in a bar. I asked the bartender to bring me something ice-cold, with a lot of alcohol in it, so he introduced me to Loretta."

Hot pants . . . suit

You had to love the New York Times' description of Hillary Clinton's participation in New York City's Gay and Lesbian Pride March, a superior version of Rio de Janeiro's Mardi Gras carnival parade.

The report noted that the first lady and Senate aspirant received a rousing welcome from crowds along the route. (Her opponent, Rick Lazio, was evidently having his hair done that day and couldn't attend.) And what a view Hillary had for herself, according to the Times: "Mrs. Clinton, who happened to be behind a group called the Radical Faeries, which featured a man on skates who wore nothing but a silver cape, a tiara and a jockstrap, was so popular the police had difficulty controlling the crowd." Needless to say, they had absolutely no chance of controlling of the Radical Faeries.

As longtime members of the superior persuasion will recall, the Radical Faeries were founded by gay rights pioneer Harry Hay, who once had a notorious affair with actor Will Geer. (Folks, we can't make up things this weird.) Geer later got married, and a famous exchange between Hay and Geer's wife had Harry snippily noting, "I had him first." To which Mrs. Geer retorted, "But I had him longest." Meow!

Cracking up

P&J wish we could claim to have found this Web site on our own, but we were probably too busy downloading firefighter calendars and centerfold photos from Blueboy. The URL is www.cracksmoker. com, and it comes to us by way of Sports Illustrated, of all places.

Cracksmoker.com is hardly a celebration of drug use. In fact, it's a compilation of the worst behavior by our exalted athletic "role models," or, as the site says, "This is merely an informational guide to expose the related travesties of sports, violence, and other forms of anti-social behavior. `Cracksmoker' is a satirical term used to describe an individual who exhibits behavior outside of societal and social standards."

Needless to say, one of the longest resumes and chronological listings belongs to our old friend Darrr-elllll Strawberry, notorious wife-beater and cocaine abuser. So you get the drift.

Cracksmoker.com also offers up a dollar-signed range of criteria for inclusion, including:

$ Must have been in the news for something noteworthy other than an athletic accomplishment.
$ Often demands more money or playing time than they deserve.
$ Regularly participate in excessive celebrations and taunting of other players.
$ Probably have referred to themselves in the third person at one time or another.
$ May have one or more illegitimate children.

Sounds about right to us. And while there are categories for the NFL, NBA, Major League Baseball, NHL and Jerry Tarkanian's Fresno State, can Providence College's fighting Friars be far from their own hot link?

The bear facts

It appears that we are not the only state that has experienced bear sightings in recent months. The New Jersey state Senate recently took up a proposal concerning bear hunting in the Garden State. For the past 29 years, hunting bears has been illegal in the land of the Sopranos, but a growing population and the specter of bruins skipping down Mercer Street in Jersey City has led to a change in the law and a return to the days of yore. The senate bill would prohibit this.

Linda Smith, a well-intentioned advocate for the Bear Education and Resource Group, seems to think, however, that law enforcement officers can use a call to direct the bears off of porches and away from backyard barbecues.

Much as P&J are not eager to see a return to active bear hunting in New Jersey, we have our doubts about Ms. Smith's solution. Of course, if it were to work, there's no telling how far New Jersey could go with Bear Education. Perhaps the critters could be induced to wear tutus and perform at backyard birthday parties for the kiddies. We don't know what the solution to New Jersey's bear problem is, but at least no one in Vo Dilun is suggesting that we start blowing the critters away.

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