Who's counting?

Due to the ongoing labor dispute between BeloJo management and the Providence Newspaper Guild, and the resultant crappy treatment of reporters and other employees represented by the Guild, the number of musically inclined warm-blooded, feathered vertebrates has grown exponentially on Fountain Street. Therefore, it should be no surprise that a whole chorus of birdies have alerted your superior correspondents to a development related to a recent report in the Phoenix ("ProJo editors cave on reporter after subject complains," This just in, August 2).

The account described how veteran reporter Karen Lee Ziner was taken off a story involving an alleged domestic assault after the victim complained to Urinal editors about what she felt was an inaccuracy in the report. It all mattered not a bit that Ziner had used a police affidavit as the source of her story, the paper later issued a correction (when no correction was necessary), and management acknowledged they had no problem with Ziner's reporting.

In fact, we understand from newsroom sources that the increasingly Captain Queeg-like executive editor Joel Rawson shouted at Ziner during a related confrontation, "You do not count!" This quickly became Ziner's newsroom nickname -- Karen "You do not count" Ziner. Sort of like US Representative Gary "Not a Suspect" Condit.

The latest from our feathered friends (and repeated in the union organ, Guild Leader) is that BeloJo management recently hired a private security rent-a-cop. It seems that Caitana "Tanya" Threats, the alleged domestic assault victim who had complained about Ziner's coverage, was continuing to call the newspaper to vent about a variety of things. In particular, she had recently been ringing and demanding to speak to publisher Howard G. Sutton.

Of course, the beefing up of security has nothing to do with protecting Karen "You do not count" Ziner, because, well, she doesn't count. This is underscored by the fact that the paper never informed her about the hiring of the extra security or that it was related to her story. It appears that Howie "I do count" Sutton freaked. Feeling threatened (no matter how dubious the threat), it's obvious that Howie got one of his factotum's on the case, lickety-split.

Back to school

Phillipe & Jorge certainly wish the folks at Operation Clean Government well in their latest initiative, the establishment of a "Rhode Island candidates school." The idea is to encourage more people to run for state and local offices, from town councils to the legislature, and school committee to general office. This is welcome since the biennial assurance by Republican Party ramrods, that they'll be fielding a near full-slate of candidates for the General Assembly, and a challenger of high accomplishment to Patrick Kennedy, usually amounts to, "See, here're 16 people for these 150 seats." Not to mention, "Now introducing Republican candidate for the United States House of Representatives, Joseph Blow III, master plumber."

Plans for this school are still being worked out, but it's slated for some time during the first four months of 2002. Anyone interested is urged to call the OCG toll-free line at (877) 793-3774.

Meanwhile, the pissing contest continues between the Democrats and the insurgent Green Party. The battleground this time in the state of Washington, where it was discovered that Republican party operatives were donating money to a Green candidate for the state legislature, hoping to pull votes away from the Democratic party candidate. Young S. Han, the Green candidate, announced that he'd return the money, but Democrats continue to grouse about a "backroom deal" that just doesn't exist.

Pissed-off Democrats believe they stand on some sort of principle when they complain about those progressives who voted for Nader in 2000, but they seem to forget that it was the third-party candidacy of Ross Perot that got Clinton elected in 1992. Where is their righteous indignation about that?

What is true, however, is that if the Democrats and Republicans would get behind the idea of instant run-off voting (where, in the event that a candidate doesn't achieve majority support, a run-off election between the top two vote-getters is held), the problem of major party donors getting behind third-party candidates to erode the vote of their major party opponent would quickly dry up. But, of course, that's not going to happen.

Anybody home?

P&J note that on August 1, Save the Bay and the Conservation Law Foundation formally asked for the disclosure of names, credentials, and the selection process of consultants hired for permitting and review of the mega-container port that Governor Bigfoot's been pushing for Quonset Point. As far as your superior correspondents can ascertain, no information has been forthcoming.

Given the egregious lying and bad faith demonstrated by the Missing Linc and his Economic Development Corporation in handling this fiasco, Save the Bay and CLF have made a very legitimate request: "Public trust in the port development process is at an all-time low. Save the Bay and CLF are taking this action to hold the administration and the EDC accountable as this process moves forward. It is in Rhode Island's best interest for the administration to comply with this request: Rhode Islanders have a right to know exactly how their tax dollars are being spent."

That's right, folks. It's your money, being thrown at charlatans who need you to buy them a drink to wash the taste of Big Linc's unit out of their mouths. Let the sun shine.

Worthy events

A great time had by all at the Six Degrees of Steve Dubois celebration of the great man's life on Monday, August 13 at the Green Room in Providence. Spirited performances and a truly broad cross-section of Our Little Towne's arts & media community came out to salute our friend.

Earlier that day, the Sakonnet Rhythm & Blues Festival, for the benefit of the Little Compton Community Center, was also a swell time for those who braved the threat of rain (it never happened) to catch the show. P&J were glad to see Chris "Stovall" Brown, a Providence musical veteran of the '70s, who was playing with Boston Baked Blues and told your superior correspondents that he had some sort of historical consultant gig with the House of Blues. Needless to say, he sounded great.

Will's weng

As inveterate crossword puzzle junkies, especially those of the Sunday New York Times, Phillipe and Jorge were dazzled by the August 7 article by Eric Alterman, a columnist for the Nation and contributor for MSNBC, regarding the August 5 version of the puzzle.

He reprints the paper's "extraordinary" clarification: "Readers who solve the Times' Sunday puzzles may wish to skip this note until they have completed today's crossword. That puzzle, on Page 64 of the magazine, is titled "Homonames." Its principal answers are homonyms of well-known names -- words pronounced like the names but spelled differently and unrelated in meaning. After advance copies of the magazine had been delivered, a few readers, perhaps prompted by the sound of the title, said they perceived allusions to gay life among the puzzle clues. Slurs involving sexual orientation would be a violation of the Times's standards. The newspaper has requested and received assurances from the puzzle editor and the puzzle creator, a veteran Times contributor, that no such allusions -- nor any suggestions about anyone's sexual orientation -- were intended."

After sending his friends the note to readers, he got back a ton of e-mails: "At least 22 of the clues could be read to imply either gay sexual or cultural references. (`87 across: Add more lubricant'; `65 down: scratched-up leather straps?'; `113 across: people who live next to a Y,' are some of those appropriate to repeat in a family Web site.) At first I thought these were made up, and I sent them to the same friends as part of the joke. It turned out they were real. Amazing. What's more the answers started coming in: `Gym Neighbors,' `Wrecks Read,' `Robbin Leech,' `Bet Middler.' These really were `homonames!' More politely, they were names of people who were either known to be gay, assumed to be gay, or play a role in gay culture. Somebody was screwing big-time with the Newspaper of Record. (To make the whole thing even crazier, the following day's puzzles contained answers like, `Excuse me please,' `I'm terribly sorry,' and `I beg your pardon.')"

Both puzzle-writer Peter Gordon and crossword editor Will Shortz denied there was any swishy subterfuge, claiming it was a "coincidence." Tell that to Ben Dover, boys. One person who did speak up was rich and famous lifestyler Robin Leach, who declared at being cryptically outed, "This will come as a great surprise to my ex-wife, three sons, ex-girlfriends, and whomever the future ex-Mrs. Leach might be." But everyone knew her as Nancy.

House financing?

Representative Tony Pires, the House Finance Committee chairman, claims to be running for governor, but your superior correspondents wonder about the seriousness of his commitment. Although known for the most part to be a stand-up guy - when he isn't scratching the back of the deplorable House Speaker Pucky Harwood - Pires is the odd man out, recognition-wise, in what looks to be a cut-throat primary involving AG Sherbet Whitebread, two-time candidate Myrth "Peppermint Patty" York, and lieutenant guv Charlie Fogarty. So is he indeed serious about the run, or is this just a nice way to raise campaign funds that can be neatly tucked into his back pocket?

After we read Political Scene in the August 13 edition of the Other Paper, we sure hope his judgment improves. Pires evidently thought he could glean information from Louisiana Governor M.J. "Mike" Foster about running a "dark horse" race. Unfortunately, Foster, the guy he picked, would no doubt call a dark horse an equine nigger. In the past, Foster was endorsed by both fat fascist Pat Buchanan, for whom Foster voted in the GOP caucus, and David Duke, the former Ku Klux Klan leader. Pires tried to shift attention from his sucking up to this bigot by mentioning how both Louisiana and Vo Dilun have "colorful" political histories. So, perhaps we can expect Tony to be looking for the endorsement of Junior Patriarca and Ed DiPrete, two "colorful" types of the past decade, to salute his integrity.

Pires's also showed his shrewd political skills by not being able to arrange a meeting with Vermont Governor Howard Dean, who just happens to be in charge of recruiting Democratic gubernatorial candidates, when he was in town. Let us all keep an eye on Mr. Pires's books during his purported "campaign," and see how much comes in and how much is actually spent in this charade.

Send dumplings, waffles, and Pulitzer-worthy tips to p&j[a]phx.com.

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