Two birds with one stone
BY PHILLIPE & JORGE
A very interesting column in the November 6 Urinal by our old friend Merrill
Chuckie Bakst about the roast ( to benefit the Diabetes Foundation of Rhode
Island) of House Speaker John "Pucky" Harwood, perhaps the most unctuous pol in
the Biggest Little.
As Merrill C. wrote, one of the featured attendees was famed environmentalist,
family man, and cheesy developer Vinnie "The Plug" Mesolella, the former state
rep and head of the Narragansett Bay Commission, who was evidently toddling
around on his hind legs and enjoying his drinks, if only to wash away Pucky's
taste. Providence Mayor Buddy "Vincent A." Cianci got off what appeared to be
the line of the night when he said, according to Bakst, that Harwood and
Mesolella are so close "you could shoot the two of them with one bullet." If
only life was so just, eh, Bud-I?
Male bag
A couple of weeks ago, Phillipe & Jorge weighed in on the report that bids
were going out for an artist to create the official State House portrait of
Governor Lincoln "Bigfoot" Almond. There was some speculation that Bigfoot
would go the route of former Governor Bruce "Captain Blowhard" Sundlun, whose
portrait featured a newspaper with self-referential headlines.
One of our regular readers (obviously a connoisseur of the arts), who
requested anonymity, responded with his thoughts on the gubernatorial
portrait:
Dear P&J,
I think it's my duty to add my thoughts on this extremely important subject.
The portrait of Lincoln Almond should portray him as we all know him. He should
be portrayed standing at the State House time clock, first in line, with his
lunchbox in one hand, looking at his watch, and holding out an arm so as not to
allow any of the other administrators to cut in front of him. Of course he
should be dressed in Cape Cod swimming trunks and sandals over black ankle
socks. I, for one, would like Bousquet to be the artist.
Feet to the fire
Speaking of Bigfoot, he'll obviously keep trying to ramrod a Quonset Point
container port down our throats until he flees for the Cape in 14 months.
Considering this, Phillipe and Jorge are a bit surprised that more pressure
hasn't been brought to bear on his possible successors about this major,
statewide issue. Where are Save the Bay and the other enviro and public
interest groups in demanding to know the stance of almost surefire Dem primary
nominee AG Sherbet Whitebread (whose wife, Sandra, just happens to be an
environmental advisor to the House leadership, which supports the Missing
Linc's proposal); Myrth "Peppermint Patty" York, who we wish would throw her
endorsement to Sherbet and essentially close out any bid from a Republican; or
the self-delusional Representative Tony Pires, who has absolutely no shot at
winning the primary, much less a general election, but is still raising money,
no doubt for that retirement villa in the Azores.
Although York and Pires have previously indicated their less than deep love
for the megaport concept, the issue doesn't appear to be on anyone's front
burner, save perhaps for GOP aspirant Don Carcieri, a staunch megaport critic,
whose gubernatorial fortunes nonetheless remain to be seen.
As Linc the Lazy continues to try to get his size-35 brogan in the door to
open up QP to a horrible project, other candidates' feet should be held to the
fire on a regular basis. If P&J guess correctly, Whitebread, York, and
Pires will eventually resist a megaport. In turn, residents of the Biggest
Little will fell free to tell Bigfoot to worry more about the fried chicken on
the early bird special at Chelo's and less about trying to pump this turkey
down our throats.
But the time to stand up and be counted is now. Linc is down to having only
the option of a total power play, perhaps in cahoots with Pucky, the best
political leader money can buy.
Queen of the Massholes
A splendid little op-ed piece in the BeloJo by M.J. Andersen, concerning the
unspeakable Virginia Buckingham, the recently resigned head of Massport. The
piece was all the better because of Andersen's view of Buckingham -- a cheap
political hack who had been sucking off the state tit for two years - and its
contrast from the Urinal editorial, extolling Buckingham's "graceful exit," a
few days earlier. Well, "graceful," yes, provided your idea of the word
includes the kind of lax Logan security that aided the terrorists in carrying
out the World Trade Center tragedy, then firing 180 employees, and demanding a
severance package (reduced by Governor Jane Swift under pressure from angry
residents) that originally included nine months' pay and a guaranteed two-year
"consulting" contract. (As we all know, a consultant is someone who takes all
the watches in the room and then tells us what time it is.)
Given the multitudes who have not, and may not, recover from the combination
of the September 11 shock and the piggybacking economic recession, Ms. Andersen
spoke for many when she concluded, "Plenty of Americans whose job performance
was just fine have been blindsided by events. In leaving too many to fend for
themselves, we run the risk of confirming an ugly possibility: that there is
one America for the Virginia Buckinghams of the world, and another for everyone
else. It's not the kind of country we meant when we all vowed to pull
together."
And wait until you see the "economic stimulus" package that Dubya the Dumb is
putting together. What a surprise that it first and foremost benefits his
corporate buccaneer and Big Oil friends. Stimulate this.
Rebuilding the Castro
Those familiar with the cultural life of the capital city undoubtedly know the
story of the Castro. Opened in April 1999, The Castro was a small café
serving coffee, tea, pastries, and excellent pizza, among other goodies. In
just a few short years at the corner of Ives and Wickenden streets in
Providence's Fox Point neighborhood, the Castro became a comfortable
neighborhood hangout and a haven for the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and
transgendered community -- a safe space and supportive environment for all.
This was primarily thanks to the café's owners and creators, Pam Padula
and Lori Green. After a trip to San Francisco, where they marveled at the
shops, markets, clubs, and cafes in that city's fabled Castro district, Lori
and Pam returned to Rhode Island, intent on recreating some of the same spirit.
After lots of scrimping, saving, and sweat equity, they opened up shop. The
Castro was a hit virtually from day one, becoming a center of political,
cultural, and community activity.
On October 9 and 10, two fires within 12 hours extensively damaged the Castro
and destroyed two upstairs apartments. Second-floor resident Meredith Kelley
and Maureen Sullivan on the third floor lost all of their possessions: clothes,
furniture, books, beds, everything. Meanwhile Green and Padula's entire
inventory of equipment and stock is gone. All of them face daunting
challenges.
A fund-raiser to benefit all four women is scheduled for Sunday, November 18
at Pulse (86 Crary Street, Providence). We're looking for those who support the
warm and wonderful community places -- which give Providence its character --
to support this event. If you can't make it, but would like to help, send what
you can to: the Castro, P.O. Box 15185, Riverside, RI 02915.
Blind ambition
Jorge was forced to hide the razor blades and lock the medicine cabinet at Casa
Diablo --after extricating a large handful of Valium for Phillipe -- when his
superior partner first heard the radio commercial with living legend Ray
Charles promoting the Powerball lottery for Vo Dilun's punters.
Ray couldn't be a hotter commodity at present, what with the acquisition of
his new piano (Have you seen it? Neither has he.), and his constantly replayed
rendition of "America" filling the airwaves. The timing of these gambling
hucksters in exploiting the dignified and charismatic Mr. Charles is absolutely
appalling. The next thing you know, Rudy Giuliani will be hawking Black &
Decker tools, while Bill Clinton goes on TV to push Viagra, recycling Winston
Churchill's remarks about World War II for the current fight against terrorism,
noting, "It will be long and it will be hard."
C'mon, Ray, baby. What's next? "Kabul on my Mind"?
A tough week
It's been a sad time at Casa Diablo, with multiple reasons to adjust the flag
to half-staff. First, Paul Bailey died. Although we never met the auto dealer,
we appropriated his "They're my boys!" motto for our "Cool, Cool World"
commemorative postcards many years ago and he didn't even threaten to sue. We
remain eternally grateful. The next day we were startled to learn of the
passing in California of Bobby "Weekend" Wiegand, who was a teenage pal of
Jorge's and a keyboard wizard of prominence in bands from Vo Dilun to Chicago
and Southern California. He was a thoroughly sweet and delightful person.
We noticed an obituary for A.J. Crenca, father of Bert, the artistic director
and guiding spirit of AS220. The newspaper notice said Mr. Crenca was a
lifetime board member of AS220, a cultivator of the rose of Sharon tree and a
harmonica player, leaving no doubt as to at least one of the sources of Bert's
creative drive.
And, finally, the legendary Captain Carl Bissonnette, longtime band promoter
and a constant on the local music scene for many years, died at age 60 in
Attleboro. Carl cut a flamboyant figure and was one of the most recognizable
Providence nightlife characters ever. But more than his love of music and
musicians, Carl will be remembered as a positive and upbeat person, someone who
was always encouraging and supportive. Upon hearing of Carl's passing, veteran
Phoenix ad rep Bruce Allen said, "Carl always demanded that we `Say
something about Susan St. James' in his ads." Bruce doesn't know why, P&J
don't know why, but for Carl, we'll just say it -- Susan St. James.
Send banana peels and Pulitzer-grade tips to p&j[a]phx.com.
Issue Date: November 9 - 15, 2001
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