Doctor, heal thyself

If you're a physician, February 25 was a good day to take two aspirin, drink a lot of liquids and stay in bed. It was definitely a bad-news day for those in the helping profession. The most notable event was a federal study published in the New England Journal of Medicine about how doctors are far less likely to recommend sophisticated cardiac tests for blacks and women than for white males, even when patients complain of identical chest-pain symptoms.

What this means is not that "doctors are bad" but that those assumed to be the "best and brightest" among us are just as likely to be affected by pervasive racial and gender bias. The tests used large samples and were controlled for differences due to income disparities and lack of health insurance. The results are sad and sobering.

On the previous day up in Methuen, Massachusetts, a plastic surgeon specializing in breast enhancement walked into his estranged wife's hospital room and, upon discovering her boyfriend there, whipped out a .38 caliber Smith & Wesson automatic and blew him away. Dr. James P. Kartell's claim that the shooting was in self-defense will, in the words of Ricky Ricardo, "take a lot of splainin', " as one of the two gunshot wounds to the victim, Janos Vajda, was a point-blank shot to the back of the head.

While the tragedy in Methuen appears to be an instance of a basically good man snapping, the same cannot be said of a Boston case reported on the same day by the Associated Press. Dr. Marcos Ramos, a Boston area physician, was indicted on one count of rape and seven counts of indecent assault and battery. Apparently, Ramos was in the habit of performing breast and rectal exams on patients who would come in for treatment of job-related knee and wrist injuries. And although at least a dozen complaints had been lodged against Ramos over the last 18 years, Massachusetts authorities didn't take any action until last week, when his license was suspended. What's more, the suspension occurred only because someone discovered that his license had been fraudulently acquired -- Ramos had lied about an arrest in Minnesota 20 years before. Gee, wonder what he'dbeen arrested for.

But, despite this spate of bad news, Phillipe & Jorge would like to point out that, by and large, a number of extraordinary doctors hold this country's fragile health system together. As more people lose their health insurance for financial reasons, a number of doctors have extended pro bono care. While empirical evidence of this is virtually impossible to come by, we are aware of plenty of anecdotal testimony. So, if it weren't for these caring individuals, the shame of our absurdly profit-driven "health care industry" would be even more apparent.

Quonset Point lies of the week

The pro-megaport forces that include the state Economic Development Corporation (Governor Bigfoot, proprietor), the carpetbagging Quonset Point Partners and the Duffy & Shanley-fueled GoPort continued their big PR push this week. But more and more it resembles the guy who walks behind parading elephants, pushing manure with a big broom. And judging from the feedback P&J received at the ProJo Follies last Friday about our "Lies of the week" column, people are twigging to that fact.

First, Textron's lovely and intelligent Carol Grant, who was shoved out in front of the media as chair and spokesperson for GoPort, told your superior correspondents that she'd been tricked into that position (as we suspected in this space last week). Basically, she says, D&S approached her by asking if she supported the concept of a port that would provide an economic boost to the state and an environmental one to Narraganett Bay. Naturally, she said yes.

But when she got to the meeting to which she'd been invited, she found out that she had been appointed chairperson and that she had been quoted in press releases concerning a project she knew little about. As we told one of Vo Dilun's leading businesswomen, don't stake your good reputation on the b.s. that D&S is likely to dish out about the megaport -- and get out while the getting is good.

Indeed, the overall theme we heard at the Follies (including from many members of the General Assembly) was that the megaport dog simply won't hunt. A very prominent local attorney even sent us a copy of a QPP letter and fact sheet (sic) he'd received, saying, "I don't know how my name got on the propaganda mailing list of Quonset Point Partners . . . but I thought they might be of some interest to you."

Perhaps this virile gentleman would have been more open to the idea of a port had the attention-to-detail types at QPP not referred to him in the salutation as "Ms." Geez, these folks can't even get it right when they try to.

Of course, the QPP letter isn't quite so funny when you consider that these white-collar buccaneers are really serious about ruining Rhode Island. Among other lies, we are once again told that 900- to 1300-foot cargo ships would not "change the character" of the Bay. Yeah, and the atomic bomb didn't change Hiroshima or Nagasaki's "character." Glad fishing, swimming and boating don't play a part in the Bay's "character."

Finally, we love the contradictions: On one Q&A, we are told that the lack of interest of Sea-Land and Maersk, the shippers that recently rejected the port at QP, still may be in the hunt: "[T]here are those in the industry who believe they will give Quonset another look when the timeline for the port is more certain."

And on the next page, we are disabused of the notion that the megaport would turn into a costly white elephant for the Ocean State, because "QPP can't afford to build the port without long-term commitments from shipping lines." Would those be like the ones Sea-Land and Maersk will soon enter into with another port while supposedly waiting to break the deal and race back to Quonset in two years? Just asking.

The Gerber diaries

More missives from prisoner #110156.

Well, still penned up in here without work release to spring me, although at least Goldberg got me my pension back temporarily. Lucky I spread some of that bribe money around the house so the kids had enough in the bank to guarantee the payment. Dennis cashed the check and used the money to buy a couple of Walt's roast beef sandwiches, which he smuggled in on his last visit, along with a do-it-yourself model of a Winnebago I've been spending time assembling. Man, it's sure a lot easier to just get behind the wheel and steer.

And Marvin, the queen in the next cell who wants to be called Marilyn all the time, is a pretty good makeup artist. He said he'd do up a little bumper sticker using nail polish on adhesive tape that says, "If this van's rockin', don't start knockin'. " Cute. I just hope I can get the bumper glued on right.

Got a great idea from this book I read last week, Oliver Twist. (I thought it was roman à clef about Chubby Checker, but it's actually about England! Who knew?) In this book, there's this guy named Fagan who has a whole posse of young kids raking in the dough for him through less-than-honorable means, shall we say.

Well, I figure I could be that kind of "teacher-mentor," as I just proposed to the work-release board. Only I could lift them out of the gutter, slip them into some suits, teach them about white-collar crime and let them get into some real money. I mean, if I can train that dope Dennis to be a bagman for me, how hard would it be to educate some kids who are already pretty street-savvy about squeezing kickbacks out of cigarette and candy distributors by threatening not to let them sell to the Mom-and-Pop on the corner anymore? A couple of flat tires here, a few shattered windshields on the delivery trucks there, and ba-bam, ba-bing, the Guv is back in charge!

Bobo said he'd help out by identifying which stores are being by served Coin-A-Matic, as Junior doesn't have much of a sense of humor about being shaken down and all Bobo wants is a 5-percent cut for his advice. He also said that maybe Junior would let me share his store space on Federal Hill for such an uplifting program for disadvantaged "yoots," as he put it. Sounds fair to me. I wonder if they have positions for this type of higher education at Brown. Professor Gerbster. I like the sound of that.

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