Opposing the Dick Army

Here's a "creative" little scheme hatched by right-wing zealots in Congress last year to try and continue discrimination against young lesbians and gays. As you may know, a number of colleges and universities include sexual orientation in their campus non-discrimination policies. So, because the military discriminates against superior behavior, those schools with anti-discrimination policies that include sexual orientation do not allow either ROTC or military recruiters on campus.

Legislation passed by the usual right-wing Republican suspects in the House (in this case, former New York rep Gerald Solomon was the key sponsor) tied federal funding -- including student aid -- to ROTC and military recruitment on campus. Those schools that block the military programs out of fairness to gay and lesbian students then lose federal funding.

Here's the good news. To counter this disgrace, reps Barney Frank (D-MA) and Tom Campbell (R-CA) have introduced a bill (HR-1123) that would partially repeal this discriminatory practice, allowing students to continue to receive college- and university-administered federal financial assistance even if their schools bar military recruiting on campus. We assume that our congressional representatives, Young Patrick and "Dorian" Bob, are on board with HR-1123, but it wouldn't hurt to drop them a line to let them know how you feel. Frank and Campbell could use the encouragement.

A bomb by any other name

Phillipe and Jorge have essentially had it with news, radio and TV reports that have now made pathetic euphemisms like "ethnic cleansing" and "hostile missile activity" part of our daily speech. No, folks, it's not "ethnic cleansing," it is genocide, torture and rape of an entire group of people. And we are not responding with "hostile missile activity," we are attempting to blow Slobodan's Milosevic's murderers to kingdom come before they kill any more innocent people. No wonder the outrage over what is going on in Kosovo has had little impact here in the U.S.

Kinder and gentler crime

When your superior correspondents are faced with the frequently bleak crime news here in Our Little Towne, like the tragic murder suicide last week of Maurice Young and his children, we frequently seek out the South County police report from the Other Paper for comfort. It seems that the criminal activity in the town of Narragansett has a different flavor from our big city troubles.

For instance, on the same day that the horrific Young family deaths were reported, the Narragansett police clocked in with these two reports: A clerk at a doughnut and coffee shop on Boston Neck Road told police that a customer at the drive-through window tried to sell her marijuana. Police said he showed her what appeared to be marijuana, offered to sell it, then handed it to a passenger in his car and sped away. Also, somebody poured oatmeal and jelly beans on three cars at a house on Bonnet Shores Road. "The quantity of oatmeal was extensive," police said, but there did not appear to be any damage.

While we're not in support of trying to offset one's Bavarian crème purchase with drug sales or the random decorating of automobiles with strange foodstuffs (and what is the deal with jelly beans anyway?), the criminal pathology in Narragansett is at least a bit more colorful and easier to take than what happens in these parts.

Backdoor bandits

Wasn't it charming to see the glut of new bills quietly introduced at the State House last week that are designed to get the megaport proposed for Quonset Point built by hook or by crook? (And we stress the latter.) No sooner had the QP stakeholders' group come to a virtual standoff on building a megaport than a raft of suspect legislation came in the back door at Halitosis Hall, designed to circumvent pesky little notions like what the public wants for the QP/Davisville area.

P&J were sending out kudos to senators Bud Cicilline and Teresa Paiva Weed and Representative Paul Crowley for coming to the aid of Newport's fishermen by opposing a power-grab bill that would give control of the state's piers -- notably at Newport and Galilee -- to the Economic Development Corporation. Then these other bills that would give the QP cheerleaders at the EDC even more unwarranted power surfaced. These include letting the EDC fast-track permits and transferring the land now owned by the Department of Transportation at QP to assist "further economic development of the Quonset Point/Davisville Industrial Park."

Boy, that's sure what folks are looking for: a know-nothing EDC run by John "What Clean Water Act?" Swen, who can bring in insolvent and ethics-challenged developers from out-of-state who want to line their pockets at the expense of a ruined Narragansett Bay.

As usual, Swen got caught out in a lie about the new legislation, claiming he and his cronies knew little about the bills affecting the EDC, or those that transfer clean-water quality designations and harbor delineations from the Department of Environmental Management to the much more politically malleable Coastal Resource Management Commission, two major changes that would spell doom for the Bay. And though Dan Varin of the state's water resources board, as honest and fair a person as you'll find, told a Urinal reporter that he discussed a bill that would bring needed water from the Big River Reservoir to QP and that Swen was all for it, Mr. "What Clean Water Act" claimed not to remember the discussion. What makes Swen's other claims of ignorance unsettling is that rarely, if ever, would a legislator simply introduce a bill giving major powers to a specific state agency without first checking with the agency's head in regard to its feasibility.

Hopefully, led by Paiva-Weed, Cicilline and Crowley, Governor Bigfoot will get the hard word put on his attempt to have tourist hotels replace the fishing industries in Newport and Galilee. And P&J's sources from the docks report that the often-fragmented fishing community appears prepared to unite to fight this heavy-handed move for power.

JARheads on parade

What could be more comforting to the soul than seeing the likes of Doug White, Patrice Wood and the rest of Channel 10's JARheads make fools of themselves? That's the recipe for the April Fool's night airing of 50 Almost Perfect Years, another twist on WJAR's celebration of 50 years of local broadcasting, of which P&J were given a sneak preview by Casa Diablo fave, producer Robert Rose. And these truths shall be self-evident: yes, that honestly is Dougie's real hair, and it looked the same when it was brown; and yes, Art Lake really is that old. Still, we think the snake crawling up Holly Wood's blouse gets the Academy Award for the show, which will be rebroadcast on Sunday the 4th.

Ch-ch-changes

Faithful readers of the Phoenix's masthead (and, if you are one, we suggest you get a life) may have noticed the disappearance of Jody Ericson's name as news editor. We are sad to report that Jody has indeed left the building and, with her, a lot of good memories and top-notch writing. While at the Phoenix, Jody received a whole slew of awards for her reporting work. She was also a wonderful editor and we will miss her help in keeping your superior correspondents from going over the top on many an item. (That's right, if you think the stuff that gets to print is beyond the pale, you should see the original copy!)

Jody has been lured to Channel 7, the NBC television affiliate in Boston, to do research and production work. We wish her continued success. In the meantime, we await the arrival of our new news editor, Ian Donnis, who has a pretty fabulous resume -- as James Brown's emcee used to say, "national and international."

Jeanne Murray

Phillipe & Jorge were saddened to hear that Jeanne Murray, former publisher of the Providence Eagle, passed away in Las Vegas in late January. As longtime Vo Dilun residents know, the "Cool, Cool World" was initially developed at the Eagle and first appeared on its pages in1980. Our condolences to Jeanne's family and her life partner, former Eagle editor, Vin Suprynowicz. Jeanne was always a gracious and kind presence at the Eagle, and the work that she and Vin did in their years here in Providence (1980-86) were, we believe, responsible for a true reinvigoration of the alternative weekly scene here in the Biggest Little.

---

The P & J archive

---