Attila the Cool Moose Nun?

It's looking more and more like Ahh-lene "Attila the Nun" Violet may be running for the soon-to-be vacant US Senate seat of John Chafee. Ahh-lene has what is being billed as a "Birthday Bash and Political Announcement" planned for Tuesday, Aug. 17, at Lombardi's 1025 Club. A letter, sent to hundreds of friends and supporters from the "Arlene Violet Birthday Committee" (Donald J. Sowa and Mary Ann Woods, co-chairs), touts the results of a Brown University poll that puts Ahh-lene in a dead heat as an independent candidate in the race to succeed Chafee. The letter also hints broadly that the "political announcement" the former attorney general may be making is the formation of an exploratory committee, the first step toward an actual candidacy. Tickets are a modest $35 a head.

While the hundreds of names of those on the Birthday Committee include the expected members of Operation Clean Government and a host of other saber-rattling cohorts (Brian Bishop, Ted and Betty Leonard, former state Representative Arthur Read, etc.), we found the inclusion of former two-time gubernatorial candidate, Bob Healey, quite interesting. Could Ahh-lene be considering a run under the Cool Moose banner?

It would seem that if Ahh-lene is serious, a third-party candidacy would be the way to go. After all, young Linc should be able to raise plenty of money, compliments of Daddy. And in a typical sparsely attended GOP primary, the mayor of Warwick has a definite leg up. Meanwhile, on the Democrat side, as P&J mentioned last week, "Little Richit" Licht is already hauling in the cash. A day after the Phoenix hit the streets, the BeloJo ran a feature story underscoring that tip from you superior correspondents. Stay tuned.

Local yokel

Given the Other Paper's obsession with anyone who has even the slightest attachment to Vo Dilun, P&J were shocked that a July 8 sports story contained only the slightest mention of the fact that Tony DiCicco, head coach of the now-legendary US women's soccer team, was once a star goalkeeper for the Rhode Island/New England Oceaneers.

DiCicco played for the Oceaneers for two years in the mid-'70s, and was the team's MVP in one of those seasons. A native of Wethersfield, Connecticut, and a grad of Springfield College, he is also a veteran of local soccer camps and had his own school for goalkeepers. Since soccer got very little coverage in Gringolandia in those years, he hardly became a household name (the flashiest player of that era in Little Rhody was the amazingly charismatic Mohammed "Baby Jet" Attiah, from Ghana).

P&J got to know DiCicco in those years, and he was (and is) a quiet, but very friendly and intelligent man who was totally professional as he went about his business on the field. His maturity and feel for the game were two of the reasons he was chosen to succeed Anson Dorrance as the US coach. Not that DiCicco could ever have any chance of overshadowing or upstaging his gregarious and gorgeous players. But his tactical sense and creative leadership gave 90,000-plus fans at the Rose Bowl the chance to go bonkers celebrating the women's World Cup win last Sunday. The Chinese players were much more skilled, but DiCicco provided the ideas, and his players supplied the emotion they needed to win.

In counterpoint to the lack of publicity given to DiCicco, the photo of Brandi Chastain, on her knees after tucking away the deciding penalty kick, shirt off and wearing a black sports bra, will be one of the lasting images in all of women's sport. We're pleased Chastain was the woman of the moment, because Mia Hamm wore out her welcome at Casa Diablo with that obnoxious "Anything you can do, I can do better" Gatorade ad with Michael Jordan.

Clothes make the criminal

Phillipe and Jorge were tickled pink to see Al "Two-by-Four" Gore take a tough stand against crime by calling for a ban on "gang-related clothing" in a speech at police headquarters in Boston. "Most of the major crimes in America in the past two decades have been committed by a band of white men dressed in dark suits, wearing white shirts and red ties, and favoring black wing-tipped shoes," declared the vice president. "Every time you hear about someone taking advantage of the poor for their own personal benefit, being paid by corporations for unethical political favors, or racing around shooting up innocent people in countries like Iraq or Serbia, you can almost guarantee there will be white men in suits leading this pack of incorrigible greedheads with little regard for human life," Gore continued. "These men are easily identifiable by their look-alike attire. Now, it's time for law enforcement authorities to crack down on these renegade gangs who go by the sinister names of 'the Dems,' `the G.O.P.' and 'the Corporate America Kings,' and simply arrest anyone wearing their 'colors.' "

Gore then wrapped up his speech with a plea to the gang members: "Could I have huge campaign donations, please?"

Footloose and fancy free

Rhode Island corrections officials monitoring the July 11 furlough of Prisoner #110156 have provided confidential details of the full day's activities to P&J as a special favor. Here's the unexpurgated furlough report.

9 a.m.: Prisoner's wife Pat arrives at ACI, driving black Ford, wearing a bag over her head with eye slots cut out. Picks up #110156, who is dressed in gray suit with black wingtips. Tells guard it's his outfit for "kicking back." Guard tells him if he hadn't known so much about kickbacks, he wouldn't be living at the state's pleasure in Cranston. Number 110156 attempts to hide on floor in back seat until yelled at by wife to, "Sit up front like a man!"

10 a.m.: Wife and prisoner go to Walt's Roast Beef drive-thru window. Restaurant is not open yet. Number 110156 overheard cursing loudly.

11a.m.: Arrive at home on Wilbur Avenue in West Cranston. Prisoner has breakfast of Ring Dings, baloney with ketchup and Diet Coke. Turns on TV to watch old episode of The Untouchables. Soon overheard calling Robert Stack obscene names.

Noon: Prisoner departs with wife in car. Visits local Winnebago dealer and take latest model on test drive. Dealer ends test drive abruptly after #110156 refuses to stop beeping the horn and driving in circles with his head out the window yelling, "Woo, woo, woo!" Afterwards, wife overheard yelling at prisoner to, "Comb your hair -- and I don't mean with a washcloth!"

1 p.m.: Couple drive to Rhode Island Mall. Prisoner begins shaking hands with startled shoppers, saying, "I didn't do anything, honest," until a security guard asks him to stop. Number 110156 goes and sits by wife, who has a hat laid on ground next to large sign, saying, "Please help. Won't work for food. Spare $20s accepted."

2p.m.: Couple return home. Prisoner plays 10 games of pinball, eats full jar of sweet gherkins and falls asleep on couch. Is heard muttering, "I love you, too, Bobo," in his sleep.

3 p.m.: Prisoner attempts to call Henry Fazzano, Rodney Brusini, Fred Lippitt and Mike Doyle. Is told at each number that the person he is trying to reach isn't home. Tells wife, "I'm almost sure that last one sounded like Doyle. And where did the rest of them get those butlers with the funny accents?"

4 p.m.: Wife turns clocks ahead while prisoner not looking and tries to convince him it is time to return to ACI. Prisoner happens to spot time on TV during telecast of NYPD Blue, and refuses to move off couch.

5 p.m.: Prisoner takes calls from family members expressing regret they could not visit due to, in order, dead car battery, no available shoes and need to wait for cable TV guy to show up. Number 110156 overheard shouting into the receiver, "You ungrateful little twit! The only reason you're over there in Edgewood, and I'm playing hide-and-seek with guys who have tattoos, gunshot scars and single digit IQs is because I cut that deal with Pine, and got you off the hook! If Whitehouse had gotten in a year earlier, you'd be getting a deep massage every night from some guy named Big Sal, if you know what I mean."

6 p.m.: Wife heads back to ACI with prisoner. Stop at Walt's Roast Beef drive-thru window again. Number 110156 asks wife for money, to which she replies, "You must be joking. Ask Judge Rodgers for a buck, why don't you? See how well it worked for me?" Tries to bargain with manager for a free sandwich until manager threatens to call the police. Prisoner shouts at manager,"Don't you know who I am?" to which reply is, "Creamed corn or vanilla pudding, you were on the label of one of those, I remember."

7 p.m.: Prisoner #110156 returns to cell, yelling, "Honey, I'm home!" Forty inmates respond, "That's great, darling, give us a kiss." Prisoner last seen crawling under his cot.

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