Calling around

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I came home from work this morning and I noticed on the caller ID that my boyfriend had called one of his old friends, a girl. There were also numbers for about five different motels. Do you think it’s possible he is trying to cheat?

— Highly Suspicious

Dear Highly,

There is a definite chance that your boyfriend may be up to no good. The best way to find out is to ask him. I suppose you could put on your London Fog, sunglasses, and slouch hat to investigate if he arranged to stay at one of the motels he called. Of course, if you’re wrong and there are reasonable explanations for the phone calls, you may open a can of worms. It would be easier and more honest to just ask what’s going on. You’ll have to trust your instincts on whether what he says is true or not. Don’t get involved in second-guessing everything he does. If it comes to that, you’re better off finding someone new, or handling the problem so it doesn’t happen again.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

My boyfriend and I have been together for more than three years. However, he has gone to a strip club twice. The first time was with a bachelor party and the second was a weekend when we "broke up." I have told him I don’t want him going to such places and that it hurts me. He swears he will never go again. I want to trust him, but I don’t know if I can get over how he has already been. What do you think?

— Needing Some Respect

Dear Needing,

Since this is not about cheating, lying, or abusive behavior, I would encourage you to look at the big picture. Your own feelings about strip clubs are important to you, and if something is upsetting to you, your boyfriend should respect and understand it. This seems to be a rather minor matter, however, especially considering the circumstances of his two strip club trips. He’s not concealing anything from you. It might be another thing if he was chronically hanging out at strip clubs, in spite of your wishes that he not do so. Forgive and forget.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

A friend and I have been on a few dates, and he acts like he really wants more. He held my hand, put his arms around me when I was cold, and hugged me in more than a friendly way. I try to tell myself that he only wants friendship, but all my close friends used to tell me it was more until he got a bit distant. Should I give up or just tell him how I feel? I keep suffering and don’t want to break my own heart. Please tell me what to do.

— Is He Really Interested?

Dear Is He?,

If you never ask, you’ll never know. If you never know, you’ll always wonder "what if?" I think the signs are there. It wouldn’t be out of order to ask why he holds your hand or gives you a "more than friendly" hug. His distance could quite possibly be because he thinks you’re not interested. It would be a shame to see a potential relationship conclude before it began because two people were too scared to lay their hearts on the line. Take a risk. If you really want to know if this person is interested, you have to ask him

Send questions and romantic quandaries to RUDYCHEEKS@prodigy.net