Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I will be getting married in a few months, and for Christmas, my fiancé bought me a very expensive diamond necklace and diamond earrings, which he wants me to wear on our wedding day. I'm very touched that he would do this for me. The only problem is, I hate the jewelry! It is not at all what I had in mind to wear, and does not match my gown. Also, I know that my beau spent a lot of money, and we have other important expenses.
I donít want to hurt his feelings by telling him that I donít like what he bought, but he did pick out the jewelry without considering that it might not be what I would like. Do I tell my fiancé how I am feeling, or just wear the jewelry and not risk hurting his feelings?
_Soon To Be Married
You can discuss your tastes and interests in jewelry after the wedding. But, at the moment, to keep things in perspective (such as how you are about to embark on married life, and your husband-to-be is obviously a generous person), you should wear what he bought you for the wedding and be grateful. Your dislike for the particular jewelry is minor stuff compared with how you have someone who loves you and wants to provide you with nice things.
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I have been a widow for 18 years. I have been in a long-term relationship with a man who I believe to be the guy I want to marry. About a year ago, I found that he was cheating on me with the woman who was the reason for the breakup of his first marriage, and in casual relationships with several other women. He has also been seriously involved with another woman for a year.
As a traveling salesman, he is around women all of the time. I have confronted him so many times when he was not being truthful. In response, he gets angry with me for what he calls " snooping. " He still tells me that he loves me and wants to come back to me. I love him, and I want to trust him and start over. Do you think this is remotely possible? I have tried to find someone else, but it is next to impossible at this age.
No, Dr. Lovemonkey does not believe it is remotely possible that this lying, cheating, scheming traveling salesman is going to change one bit. I can sympathize with you about how difficult it is to meet prospective partners, but this guy isnít a real partner, and the only reasonable thing to do is to end this relationship immediately. Thereís no future with this guy, just more lying and cheating.
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Issue Date: August 5 - 12, 2005
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