The Older Guy

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I’m 28 and I have the biggest crush on a 46-year-old guy who lives in my neighborhood. I recently moved here, so I don’t know much about him except that he’s single. We’re part of the same neighborhood crime watch group. Would it be OK if I made a move, or is the age difference too much of an obstacle? Should I do some asking around about him first, or would that generate too much gossip?

_In Need of a Little Help

Dear In,

From his vast experience in such matters, Dr. Lovemonkey can tell you that the guy is not likely to balk because of the age difference. In a brief, unscientific poll of a number of 50ish men, fewer than .08 percent of respondents considered the age difference unacceptable, and that’s not even legally drunk.

Asking around a little about the guy is probably wise, but try to keep your questioning limited to people you know and trust. As long as he doesn’t have a clown suit in the closet, and a couple of dozen bodies buried under the floorboards, make your move. I predict that you will make him a very happy man.

bedside conservativE

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

My boyfriend constantly tells me and some of his friends that I am too conservative in the bedroom. How might I change that?

_Shy but Willing

Dear Shy,

This is just a hunch, but, duh, by not being so conservative in the bedroom. If you are truly "willing," but have some fears, concerns, or reservations, talk with him. You might also want to mention to your boyfriend that his "telling some of his friends" about your dilemma is a bit rude.

along for the ridE

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I have been dating my girlfriend for roughly three years. We are both in our early 30s. Everything about our relationship is great until one subject comes up — her going out with her friends for weekend getaways. The last time she went to Vegas with them, they ended up hanging out with guys all night, riding around in their limo, clubbing, and one of the guys spent the night with her friend in their room. That she doesn’t see anything wrong in hanging out with guys who want to get into her pants strikes me as a slap in the face. I don’t mind her going out and doing things with her friends, but I feel totally insulted by her thinking it’s fine as long as she doesn’t cheat. Am I being too insecure, or should I move on?

_LA Jimmy

Dear LA,

Let’s be honest here: the prime directive for the vast majority of guys of your age is getting some female action. Forgot about the "slap in the face" element. The question is, "Do you trust her"? If you do, then get over it — she’s just out having fun with her friends. Also, consider this benefit: if you are in a situation where she is required to trust you, she almost has to go along with it.

ulterior motivE

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey.

I’m 18 and I met this really sweet guy. He told me he loved me, but he has a girlfriend. He wants me to go to his house every day and just hang out with him. I know that’s not what he really wants to do. But what should I do? Go to his house or stay at home?

_Unsure

Dear Unsure,

Dr. Lovemonkey thinks your query goes something like this: "Should I start doing the beast-with-two-backs with this guy, or should I try to maintain a bit of dignity?" Obviously, he’s a jerk because he wants to cheat on his girlfriend. I’ll let you figure this out on your own.

Send questions and romantic quandaries to rudycheeks@prodigy.net.