BY CLIF GARBODEN

THURSDAY 2

9:00 (2) André Rieu: Live in Tuscany. The bad news is that he’s alive; the good news is that Tuscany a long way from here. To be repeated on Friday at 2:30 p.m. (Until 11:05 p.m.)

5:00 a.m. (44) Soundstage. Christmas music from Chris Isaak. To be repeated on Saturday at 1 a.m. and on Tuesday at 2 and 4 a.m., and on Tuesday at 5 a.m. on Channel 2, and on Wednesday at 2 and 5 a.m. on Channel 44, and on Wednesday at 5 a.m. on Channel 2. If you stay up late or get up early, this is pretty difficult to miss. (Until 6 a.m.)

FRIDAY 3

1:00 (44) Christmas at the Hollywood Palace. Repeated from last week. From 1964 to 1970, there was a variety show on ABC called The Hollywood Palace (after the renamed El Capitan Theater in LA where it was taped). Celebs like Perry Como and Bob Newhart and Bing Crosby hosted their peers. Here we get holiday magic from that archive. To be repeated on Sunday at 6:30 p.m. and on Tuesday at 7:30 p.m. (Until 2:30 p.m.)

2:30 a.m. (2) Topper Returns (movie). Should we really have to wait until 2:30 a.m. for something worth mentioning on Channel 2? The 1941 conclusion of the short Topper film series. For those unfamiliar with the Topper motif: Cosmo Topper is a mild-mannered guy haunted by two high-strung young ghosts. The original film benefitted from having Cary Grant and Constance Bennett (as George and Marion Kirby) do the haunting. This one replaces them with Joan Blondell as a ghost out to solve her own murder. Roland Young plays Topper. (Until 4 a.m.)

SATURDAY 4

1:00 (6) Football. Virginia Tech versus Miami.

2:30 (12) Football. Army versus Navy.

4:30 (6) Football. USC versus UCLA.

6:00 (12) Football. Auburn versus Tennessee in the SEC title game.

6:30 (2) Rock and Roll Forever: Ed Sullivan’s Greatest Hits. Either Ed Sullivan was hipper than he appeared to be or he let people he didn’t fully understand on his show. Either way, Ed’s Sunday-night variety mecca provided a giant crossover stepping stone for a lot of rock acts. This anthology has TV performances by Elvis, the Beatles, Janis Joplin, Ray Charles, and more. To be repeated on Sunday at 3:30 p.m. and on Monday at 9:30 p.m. on Channel 44. (Until 8 p.m.)

8:00 (2) Get Down Tonight — The Disco Explosion. Said disco explosion seems like more fun now than it did at the time, when it represented a mindless distraction from responsibility and causes. It seems that disco was black music, but nobody knew that because the airwaves were full of high-pitched stuff from the Bee Gees. Whatever it was, it can be enjoyed now in small, selective doses. KC and the Sunshine band host this dance marathon with help from Frankie Valli, Karen-Lynn Gorney (the leggy co-star of 1977’s Saturday Night Fever tours that movie’s Brooklyn shooting locations), Danny Terrio, Barry Williams, and Irene Cara. Also in tribute to SNF, we have clips of the Bee Gees "Stayin’ Alive" (which eluded some of them), plus Yvonne Elliman doing "If I Can’t Have You" (with the accent on the "You"), the Trammps with "Disco Inferno," and Taveres praising "More Than a Woman." But that’s not all. As an extra added bonus, A Taste of Honey perform the tone poem "Boogie Oogie Oogie," Wild Cherry’s Rob Parissi does "Play That Funky Music," Norma Jean Wright and Luci Martin recall "Le Freak," and Leo Sayer crawls back from wherever the hell he’s been to explain "You Make Me Feel like Dancing" To be repeated on Tuesday at 9 p.m. on Channel 44, and on Wednesday at 9 p.m. on Channel 2. (Until 10:30 p.m.)

8:00 (6) Football. Oklahoma versus Colorado in the Big 12 title game.

8:00 (10) The Perfect Storm (movie). With a lot of imperfect dialogue. (Until 11 p.m.)

8:00 (44) Concert for George. If disco isn’t exactly your fondest memory of youth, check in here for a video version of the Albert Hall tribute concert held on the first anniversary of George Harrison’s death. For better or worse, this has scenes not included in the theatrical release. On hand to praise George are Eric Clapton, Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, members of the cast of Monty Python’s Flying Circus, Tom Petty, Ravi and Anoushka Shankar, Billy Preston, and Dhani Harrison. (Until 11 p.m.)

SUNDAY 5

Noon (2) Rodgers & Hammerstein’s Cinderella. Julie Andrews hosts a replay of the 1957 television production of R&H’s musical Cinderella, which attracted the largest TV audience ever to a given show at that time. Andrews was 22 years old then, so she’s 69 now. To be repeated tonight at 7 p.m., and on Monday at 7:30 p.m. on Channel 44 (Until 2 p.m.)

1:00 (12) Football. The Pats versus the Cleveland Browns.

1:00 (64) Football. The Atlanta Falcons versus the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

4:00 (64) Football. The Green Bay Packers versus the Philadelphia Eagles.

8:00 (6) The Five People You Meet in Heaven (movie). We are one and we are all together. A TV adaptation of Mitch Albom’s novel, which portrays Heaven as a place where five figures from your lifetime make sense of your mortal stint for you. Starring Jon Voight, Michael Imperioli, Jeff Daniels, Ellen Burstyn, and Rebecca Jenkins. Since the premise here shows more imagination than the rest of commercial television put together, this might be worth watching. (Until 11 p.m.)

8:00 (10) The Family Man (movie). Nicolas Cage and Téa Leoni probably can’t save this 2000 movie about a hot-shot stockbroker whose fast-land life magically turns into a hum-drum mini-van existence. (Until 11 p.m.)

9:00 (2) Magic Moments — The Best of ’50s Pop. Repeated from last week. The whole commercialized 1950s cultural ethos in one Atlantic City Concert. Mary Lou Metzger, Phyllis McGuire, and Pat Boone host old performance and period-piece clips, plus reunion songs from the McGuire Sisters, Debbie Reynolds, Patti Page, the Chordettes, the Crew-Cuts, the Four Lads, the Four Aces, the Four Coins, and Gogi Grant. (Until 11 p.m.)

9:00 (4) A Very Married Christmas (movie). Joe Mantegna stars as a man who takes a job playing Santa when he discovers his wife is having an affair and ends up falling in love with his Santa trainer. Of course, the TMOC (True Meaning of Christmas) wins out and the unhappy couple are reunited. (Until 11 p.m.)

11:00 (2) George Jones: 50 Years of Hits. George has had more songs on the Billboard charts than any other performer (format aside). Trace Adkins, Kenny Chesney, Harry Connick Jr., Vince Gill, Amy Grant, Merle Haggard, Emmylou Harris, Alan Jackson, Kris Kristofferson, Patty Loveless, Shelby Lynne, Martina McBride, Aaron Neville, Randy Travis, Tanya Tucker, Wynonna Judd, and more gather in Nashville (in September 2004) to pay tribute to the 73-year-old country master. (Until 12:30 a.m.)

1:00 a.m. (44) Eric Clapton’s Crossroads Guitar Festival. Repeated from last week. Clapton’s dream supershow from the Cotton Bowl (taped this summer in 90-degree heat) features himself, Robert Cray, Buddy Guy, Vince Gill, John Mayer, Carlos Santana, James Taylor, Jimmie Vaughan, ZZ Top, B.B. King, and Joe Walsh. To be repeated tonight at 4 a.m. on Channels 2 and 44. (Until 3 a.m.)

MONDAY 6

7:30 (2) Find! Marathon with the Keno Brothers. Okay, at first the Kenos are just plain disturbing, but during their forays into people’s attics in search of valuable antiques, identical twins Leigh and Leslie turn out to be harmless and actually interesting. Here they host some highlights of their series. (Until 9:30 p.m.)

9:00 (6) Football. The Dallas Cowboys versus the Seattle Seahawks.

10:00 (10) Princess Diana: The Secret Video Tapes, Part Two. As if she hadn’t already told all, Di tells more. (Until 11 p.m.)

1:00 a.m. (44) National Geographic Specials: Inside Special Forces. A look inside the US military’s killer elite, specialists trained to combat "guerrillas, subversives, insurgents, and assassins" by committing serial war crimes. To be repeated tonight at 4 a.m. on Channels 2 and 44. (Until 2 a.m.)

1:45 a.m. (2) Scarlet Street (movie). A 1945 Fritz Lang remake of Jean Renoir’s 1931 film La chienne starring Edward G. Robinson as a meek sort drawn into a web of crime and intrigue. With Joan Bennett and Dan Duryea. (Until 3:30 a.m.)

TUESDAY 7

8:00 (6) A Charlie Brown Christmas. Same as it ever was. (Until 9 p.m.)

9:00 (2) Alone in the Wilderness. Repeated from last week. A fantastic primitive documentary based on woodsman/craftsman Richard Proenneke’s self-imposed exile to the Alaskan wilderness. The adventure began in 1968, when Proenneke built a cabin on a remote Alaskan lake using (mostly) native materials. The guy’s ability to fashion a household out of stumps, moss, and raw lumber puts any Boy Scout (and most general contractors) to shame. Proenneke liked his life away from real life so much that he maintained it until 1995. This film, made up largely of footage he shot himself or himself, is inspiring and comforting. Watch it; tape it; order it for Christmas presents. To be repeated on Thursday at 2:30 p.m. (Until 10:30 p.m.)

2:10 a.m. (2) Angel on My Shoulder (movie). Director Archie Mayo’s 1946 caprice with Paul Muni as a murder victim sent back to mortal form (as a judge) by Satan. With Anne Baxter and Claude Rains. (Until 4 a.m.)

WEDNESDAY 8

7:30 (2) Once upon a Sleigh Ride. A pleasant profile of America’s "fun" composer, Leroy Anderson, who died in 1975, but not before he gave the world "Sleigh Ride," "The Syncopated Clock," "Blue Tango," and several other musically solid novelty numbers. (Until 9 p.m.)

8:00 (10) A Clay Aiken Christmas. Let’s all have one this year. If anyone has a grasp on the TMOC, it must be this product of fortunate chance. (Until 9 p.m.)

8:00 (64) The 2004 Billboard Music Awards. From the MGM Grand in Vegas, and featuring performances by Usher, Nelly, Evanescence, Green Day, Gwen Stefani, and more. (Until 10 p.m.)

9:00 (6) Barbara Walters Presents the 10 Most Fascinating People of 2004. Did Osama make the cut? Bet John Kerry didn’t. We do get Oprah, Donald Trump, Paris Hilton, Michael Moore, Usher, and GOP pitcher Curt Schilling — plus four (undisclosed) more. (Until 10 p.m.)

1:00 a.m. (44) Sing We Now of Christmas: A Festival of Carols. "Sing we now," "Don we now" . . . the holidays bring out the most peculiar grammatical constructions. Watch you now the 100-voice First Presbyterian Church of Davenport, Iowa, Choir (plus symphony orchestra, kids’ choirs, and bell choir). Listen to you now as they sing them now all the familiar carols. (Except, having been raised in the shadow of Presbyterianism, we recall that they often prefer "alternate lyrics," such as "All is calm/Save the light.") To be repeated tonight at 4 a.m. on Channels 2 and 44. (Until 2 a.m.)

3:00 a.m. (44) Happy Holidays in Pittsburgh. Hey, it can happen. Documentarian Rick Sebak, who has Western Pennsylvania’s number, offers a tour of Steel City holiday traditions — including jumping into the frigid Monongahela River at 9 a.m. on New Year’s Day. Want proof? Visit www.judethomas.com/pbc2004_small/pages/09.htm. (Until 4 a.m.)

THURSDAY 9

7:30 (44) Viewer Favorites. Assuming there are any left — viewers or favorites. (Until 11 p.m.)

9:30 (2) John Denver: The Wildlife Concert. Yeah, yeah. (Until 11:05 p.m.)

1:15 a.m. (2) The Kennel Murder Case (movie). Director Michael Curtiz’s 1933 Philo Vance murder mystery set at a Long Island dog show. With William Powell and Mary Astor. (Until 2:29 a.m.)