Lady in mourning BY PHILLIPE & JORGE

The gray lady of journalism, the New York Times, is dressed in black after one of its reporters, Jayson Blair, was found to have plagiarized and falsified scores of stories for America’s organ of record — an audacious display of misleading his editors and the public. That he also lied about having graduated from the University of Maryland, and is now being investigated for the possible fabrication of articles at the Boston Globe, has stunned journalists nationwide. (Well, except for Mike Barnicle, who lost his job at the Globe for lifting George Carlin’s work without attribution and making up composite characters that he foisted on readers as real people. Or Janet Cooke, formerly of another august institution, the Washington Post, who invented an eight-year-old junkie and had to return her Pulitzer after being found out as an ace creative writer.)

P&J called one of our old friends at the Times to measure the mood in the newsroom. Although Blair was "likable," our source says, staffers are basically bummed out to the nth degree. They’re still feeling sorry for their former colleague, who obviously has huge problems, but only a little less sorry than the editors who let this charade take place. They even ignored such blatant red flags as a less-than-cryptic note sent by one editor to another, after Blair’s correction count began reaching the stratosphere: "We have to stop Jayson from writing for the Times. Right now." Mix in the leeway that Blair was given in the name of diversity — he is African-American — and this is a scenario that has Karl Rove running around in the White House, clapping his hands and jumping in the air until he wets his pinstriped slacks.

It’s Phillipe and Jorge’s guess that we’ll eventually encounter Jayson again, no doubt hosting a radio talk show. If it’s good enough for Barnicle and the Bud-I, it’s good enough for Blair.

Only in RI

Could we have a bit more media coverage of the new Krispy Kreme doughnut franchise opening in Cranston? We understand that the great state of Vo Dilun and Feinstein Plantations is arguably ground zero for doughnut culture in the US of A, a place where doughnut shops rival neighborhood barrooms in number — and the Civic Center naming rights were proudly grabbed up by Dunkin’ Donuts — but, pull-eze! This may be the only place on earth where the opening of a new doughnut store is occasion for live news reports and huge daily newspaper attention.

Likewise, it could be that we are the only place where being a school crossing guard is considered a political plum job. After his election, Cranston Mayor Steve Laffey got a load of the significance of school crossing guards when constituents began calling, seeking a quick appointment to the ranks. This is because, under the current system, crossing guards (a one-hour a day job with summers off) get full medical insurance benefits, worth close to $8000 a year (honk, honk) if you choose the family plan. And 22 of Cranston’s 39 crossing guards take the family plan. Of course, the crossing guards do pay 12 percent of the cost, but the whole system is costing Cranston $600,000 a year. Of course, it’s only a cowinkydink that a prominent number of the current crossing guards are spouses of former or current city employees.

Girl talk

Well, it sure was appropriate for pro golfer Vijay "Hootie" Singh to threaten to withdraw from the upcoming Colonial tournament next weekend since the Tiger Woods of the ladies’ circuit, Annika Sorenstam, might be paired with him. God forbid that she should have the audacity to be the first woman since Babe Didrikson Zaharias in the 1945 Los Angeles Open to dare tee it up against the big boys. (Note to non-sports fans: Ms. Sorenstam is far and away one of the greatest female golfers of all time, but the Babe was not only the finest golfer of her era, but one of the best all-around woman athletes the country ever produced — starring in baseball and basketball, and breaking world records and winning two gold medals in the Olympics in the hurdle and javelin. Wotta chick, eh?) Vijay joined the questionable company of fellow PGA players Nick Price, Scott Hoch and Annika’s buddy, Woods, who have come down on her accepting a special sponsor’s exemptions to compete.

But Holy Bill Bennett, sports fans! Is this the same Hootie Singh who was once kicked off the Asian pro tour for cheating? You got it. Nothing like moralizing and getting shirty about social issues when you’ve got a skeleton in your closet. Perhaps it’s just as well that Annika isn’t going to be paired with Vijay. She would have to spend half her time watching to see if he was kicking his ball in the rough, or moving it closer to the hole on the green. Stroke this, Mr. Singh.

Out of it in Africa

Our man in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania, Tom B. sends along some of the more humorous items he and his ex-pats friends have spotted in establishments during their travels throughout the continent. These bon mots get passed around from person-to-person, with this latest missive coming in from Mozambique. As is evident, despite many Africans speaking English in wonderful British and French accents — depending upon which colonial power ruled their country in the past — it’s definitely their second language after Kiswahili or other indigenous dialects, and the meanings get a little twisted (or else they are simply nuts to begin with):

In a restaurant in Zambia:

Open seven days a week and weekends

On the grounds of a private school in South Africa:

No trespassing without permission

On a window of a Nigerian shop:

Why go elsewhere to be cheated when you can come here?

On a poster in Ghana:

Are you an adult who cannot read? If so, we can help

On a river in the Democratic Republic of Congo:

Take note: When this sign is submerged, the river is impassable

A sign seen on a hand dryer in a Lesotho public toilet:

Risk of electric shock — Do not activate with wet hands

In a Botswana jewelry shop:

Ears pierced while you wait

In a maternity ward of a clinic in Tanzania:

No children allowed!

In a cemetery in Uganda:

Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves

In a Malawi hotel:

It is forbidden to steal towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing, please don’t read this notice

A sign posted in an Algerian tourist camping park:

It is strictly forbidden on our camping site that people of different sex, for instance a man and woman, live together in one tent unless they are married to each other for that purpose

In a Namibian nightclub:

Ladies are not allowed to have children in the bar

Guess we’ll just make that a Lion Lager for the road, please. And doorman, get me an ambulance.

Larry Novick

Word reached Casa Diablo a few weeks ago that a dear and wonderful friend, Larry Novick, recently passed away in Cape Verde. Larry had retired there less than a year ago with his wife Victoria, who, sadly, also died a few months back. It was where Victoria grew up and they had both loved the area, one of the world’s loveliest spots.

Larry worked for Providence Housing for many years and was previously a newspaper reporter. He became a first-rate photographer, with his work exhibited at galleries both here and in Cape Verde. A generous and kind soul, Larry was also a union man to his bones. He led a colorful life here, in Massachusetts, and in New York. He was just one of those guys who always made life more interesting. At one point, he roomed with the legendary jazz drummer Art Blakey and had some great stories about that. In fact, Larry had a million great stories, all fascinating. He will be greatly missed by all his friends here, including Phillipe & Jorge.

Fighting like dogs and cats

We’re not entirely certain if some of the dogs at the East Providence animal shelter were a public danger. But we do know that there are creatures living on the outside who are of questionable and dangerous temperament. The firestorm brought on by JAR-head Jim Taricani’s report last week on East Providence police captain Walter Barlow’s threatening phone calls sure sounds like a sign of mad dog syndrome to your superior correspondents.

Even more damning was the story in Saturday’s BeloJo by Dick Dujardin, which reported how Kim Casci, the suspended shelter volunteer who received the calls, tried to bring the tapes to the attention of a number of city officials, none of whom wanted to hear it. On one tape, Barlow is heard ranting, "I will use every means at my disposal to kill that woman." He is talking to Casci about another volunteer, Brenda Hogan. Police Chief Gary Dias (ironically, one of the better chiefs in the state) rebuffed attempts by Casci to meet with him. One town official stated he didn’t want to hear the tapes because he didn’t know if they were legally obtained.

C’mon! P&J are certainly not lawyers. But even we know that in Vo Dilun any two-way phone conversation taped with one of the parties’ knowledge is legal. Any knowledgeable elected official should also know this also. It smells a lot like these officials were covering for Barlow, and much as Ms. Hogan sounds like a truly irritating presence (we caught a little bit of her on Steve Kass’s show Monday on WPRO-AM), there is absolutely no excuse for Barlow’s incendiary comments. He’s been suspended and probably deserves to be fired. This behavior can’t be tolerated on a police force.

Matthew Iannotti

So much sadness in recent months, and now we must mourn yet another passing, and a very painful passing it is. Matthew Iannotti, a bright and wonderful young man who had been plagued with health problems for his entire life, passed away Friday, May 9 at Hasbro Children’s Hospital. Matthew was creative and kind, a fine soul who served as a positive life force to everyone he met. He loved music, writing songs, playing guitar, and had an abiding interest and knowledge of a variety of popular culture mediums. His mother, Sheila, and stepfather, Scott, are longtime Casa Diablo regulars, and our hearts are with them in this especially sad and difficult time. Matthew was only 16 years old, but his great spirit and enthusiastic presence will always be held dear by all who were fortunate enough to have known him. His great passion for life was an inspiration.

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